Select Tender Type or, Another Reason Literature Is Useful (Repost)

Below is a piece I originally posted, under a slightly different title, several years ago. I don’t know why the text looks as it does, but it will stay that way until tech support and I find a remedy. I hope you will read and enjoy anyway.

Ophelia, oil on canvas, size: 49 x 29 in

Ophelia, oil on canvas, size: 49 x 29 in (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

At HEB this afternoon, having verified that I had, indeed, spent my last sou on a cup of coffee at Waterloo Writers, I ran my credit card through the scanner. The resulting screen read, Select Tender Type.

Tender.

Such a formal, old-fashioned word for this new-fangled device.

It reminded me of the scene in which Polonius asks Ophelia about her relationship with Hamlet:

Polonius: What is between you? give me up the truth.

Ophelia: He hath, my lord, of late made many tenders
Of his affection to me.

Polonius: Affection! pooh! you speak like a green girl,
Unsifted in such perilous circumstance.
Do you believe his tenders, as you call them?

Ophelia: I do not know, my lord, what I should think.

Polonius: Marry, I’ll teach you: think yourself a baby;
That you have ta’en these tenders for true pay,
Which are not sterling. Tender yourself more dearly;
Or–not to crack the wind of the poor phrase,
Running it thus–you’ll tender me a fool.

 

Poor Ophelia. She was a sweet thing, and young, and the men in her life treated her so shabbily.

But even while Polonius belittles his daughter to her face, the way Shakespeare moves tender through the passage, varying its meaning from one line to the next, makes the language as briliant as its meaning is dark. Polonius, as Hamlet later implies, is a rat—and he pays for his treachery a couple of acts down the road—but he has such a way with words.

Thinking of Polonius and Ophelia reminded me of Lord Capulet‘s rage when Juliet tells him she will not marry Paris. He explodes, and Juliet adds fuel to the fire.

Capulet: How! will she none? doth she not give us thanks?
Is she not proud? doth she not count her blest,
Unworthy as she is, that we have wrought
So worthy a gentleman to be her bridegroom?

Juliet or The Blue Necklace (1898) by John Wil...

Juliet or The Blue Necklace (1898) by John William Waterhouse (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 Juliet: Not proud, you have; but thankful, that you have:
Proud can I never be of what I hate;
But thankful even for hate, that is meant love.

Capulet: How now, how now, chop-logic! What is this?
‘Proud,’ and ‘I thank you,’ and ‘I thank you not;’
And yet ‘not proud,’ mistress minion, you,
Thank me no thankings, nor, proud me no prouds,
But fettle your fine joints ‘gainst Thursday next,
To go with Paris to Saint Peter’s Church,
Or I will drag thee on a hurdle thither.
Out, you green-sickness carrion! out, you baggage!
You tallow-face!

“Thank me no thankings, nor, proud me no prouds, / But fettle your fine joints ‘gainst Thursday next,…” Beautiful. Just seeing it on the page gives me the shivers.

To some, Capulet sounds like a terrible father, but, as I pointed out to my freshmen, year after year, Juliet starts it. She’s rude and disrespectful. Her father doesn’t know she’s already married; he thinks she would be thrilled to marry Paris. But she behaves like a brat. It’s no wonder Capulet threatens to drag her on a hurdle thither.

The two female characters present an interesting contrast: Ophelia refuses to speak for herself; Juliet shouts. But neither one lasts to the end of Act V.

A scholarly paper might lurk in there somewhere: “Shakespeare’s Women: A Study of the Consequences of Self-Actualization Within the Context of the Father-Daughter Relationship Complicated by Nascent Heterosexual Bonding, with a Focus on Hamlet’s Ophelia and Romeo and Juliet’s Juliet.”

Or perhaps not.

By the time I finished with the Capulets, the cashier had almost finished scanning. While she bagged the items, I had time to wonder whether the name of Jasper FForde‘s protagonist, Thursday Next, was inspired by the once-projected date for Juliet’s wedding.

Queen Guinevere's maying, by John Collier, 1900

Queen Guinevere’s maying, by John Collier, 1900 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I also remembered that The Idylls of the King contains a line echoing Thank me no thankings, nor, proud me no prouds; I believe it’s spoken by Guinevere–maybe–but I’ve not been able to locate it, and it looks as if I’ll have to re-read the entire Idylls to ease my mind.

But I did catch the next lines that drifted by: Guinevere, jealous of Elaine, takes up Lancelot’s gift of diamonds

 

“And thro’ the casement standing wide for heat
Flung them and down they flash’d, and smote the stream.
Then from the smitten surface flash’d, as it were
Diamonds to meet them, and they past away.”

 

That image—diamonds falling into the sunlit stream, and water splashing up, like diamonds to meet them—remains with me when the rest of the book has passed from memory.

Well. By this time, the cashier and I had completed our transaction. I wheeled the groceries to the car. End of shopping.

End of post.

Except to point out that I stood for ten minutes in one of the most boring places imaginable and forgot to be bored.

I was busy elsewhere.

 

 

 

Photo Challenge: Dialogue #2: Socks

2014-09-03 010The photo display below illustrates what happens when the photographer reads the rules but immediately forgets them. Instead of photos engaged in dialogue, she shoots photos of objects engaged in dialogue.

It also shows what happens when one sock of each pair is eaten by the dryer: Those left behind have nothing to do but sit around and talk.

If there’s any justice in this world, this will be the last inane piece I’ll post, at least for a while. The previous post spotlighting the filthy mouse appeared because I was trying to attach my blog to Bloglovin‘ and wasn’t sure it would work, and I wanted to do more than post a possibly unworkable link. And after reading reams of instructions and not being convinced I understood them, I was disgusted enough to advertise the state of my refrigerator’s underside. I do move the appliance to mop, but I’m not compulsive about it. And I don’t want to offend by tossing my children’s favorite toy. Unfortunately, sponging mousie off does nothing for its appearance.

WordPress advises not to post when you have nothing to say. Once more I’ve violated the rule. Forgive me. As atonement, I offer socks and a cat.*

Also, please forgive the sock with the hole. I don’t wear it unless I want to make a statement. Then I pair it with the adjacent mismatch. I’m not comfortable that way, but people know that I’m my own person and that I have no shame.

See what other photographers have posted to this week’s photo challenge here.

 

*Sometimes, like around midnight, I post from impulse. Sometimes I’m just weak.

 

Weekly Photo Challenge: Dialogue

The Newbery Honor Book and the notebook pictured below were lying on the floor beside my chair when I heard them conversing.

2014-09-03 043

2014-09-03 047

 

See more Dialogue photos here.

If You Use Facebook on Your Phone, PLEASE READ THIS

Kathy Waller:

This is important information about using the Facebook mobile app on a mobile device. Read and click on the LINK for the whole story. It’s scary.

Originally posted on The Accidental Cootchie Mama:

It’s no secret that I deplore Facebook. I use it because I must. Therefore, I am diligent in trying to understand how Facebook works. As a result, I deleted the Facebook mobile app from my iPhone more than a year ago.

If you are still using the Facebook mobile app on your smartphone or other mobile device, you really, REALLY need to read this article by Nick Russo. Drop EVERYTHING you’re doing and READ IT.

I’ll wait.

http://thebull.cbslocal.com/2014/08/07/facebook-crosses-the-line-with-new-facebook-messenger-app/

We may live in a world with no privacy, but Facebook’s coming changes to its Messenger app are an obscene violation of your privacy. If you don’t want Facebook to farm every aspect of your life (record every phone call you make, log every place you go, know everyone you talk with AND WHAT YOU TALK ABOUT), I urge you to consider deleting the Facebook app from your mobile devices before the…

View original 60 more words

This Is a Test–Only a Test–Plus a Mouse

Please bear with me. I’m trying something new. Because I can’t visualize what will happen after I follow instructions, I have to experiment.

This may take several tries. Just ignore me and speak among yourselves.

If there’s no one to visit with, feel free to observe this mouse. He was a favorite toy, but one of his owners stuffed him under the refrigerator, and when I found and released him he looked pretty grubby and had lost a leg.

I intended to send him to Toy Mouse Heaven but obviously forgot, because a couple of minutes ago I noticed him staring up at me from the bottom of the toy basket.

IMG_2271

<a href=”http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/12790651/?claim=ckcmzq5676y”>Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>

September 14 – Birthday Tea for P. D. James’ 94th Birthday

Originally posted on Sisters in Crime ~ Heart of Texas Chapter:

At its September 14 meeting, Sisters in Crime ~ Heart of Texas Chapter will host a program about novelist P. D. James, followed by English tea, in celebration of author P. D. James’ 94th birthday.

James, popularly acknowledged as the premier writer of the modern mystery novel, published her first book, Cover Her Face, featuring detective Adam Dalgliesh, in 1962. Since then, she has added twelve more Dalgleish mysteries, two featuring detective Cordelia Gray, and three stand-alone mysteries. She has also published three works of non-fiction. Her works have been featured on PBS’ Mystery series. The latest, Death Comes to Pemberley, will be aired this fall.

The HOTXSINC program will feature presentations by members on James’ life and work, including Youtube videos of interviews with the author. Special guests Maria Rodriguez, Director of Programming for KLRU-TV will present an overview of KLRU/PBS “Mystery!”, based on mysteries by…

View original 103 more words

The Fashionable Cows of DFW: A Lone Star Attitude

[There may be long blank spaces in this post. Please don't stop reading--scroll all the way to the end. The blank spaces are beyond my control.]

In keeping with Dallas’ role as both the sine qua non and the arbiter elegantiae of Lone Star fashion, the Dallas-Fort Worth (DFW) International Airport houses a number of swank boutiques offering aspiring trend setters apparel on the cutting edge.

Today we highlight a shop that offers the latest wrinkle in Texas style a la mode.

First, for her, a tunic top made of Jersey and adorned with tiny embroidered rosettes. For him, a shirt of dark blue denim. Both are suitable for casual meandering or for more formal trailer transport to greener pastures.

 2014-08-16 DFW 2014-08-16 004

In the background, a lovely dress in Angus black, falling in front to just above the knee, and in back to the hock.

2014-08-16 DFW 2014-08-16 004

A closeup, below, highlights flowers fashioned from brightly colored silk ribbons bordering a modified V-neck, redolent of the meadows in a Texas spring.

2014-08-16 DFW 2014-08-16 008

Next, another his-and-her combo: He sports a striped shirt, narrow verticals in navy blue, wider horizontals in alternating Babe ox blue, sea gray, and straw yellow, over a brown dun polo shirt. She looks stunning in a zebra-patterned skirt topped by a bodice of stone gray with dapples, red roan, brindle, and spring timothy. A circlet of bailing twine around her neck gives the outfit a festive air. Both garments could be worn for an evening of frolicking through maize stubble, or a midnight raid on the corn crib.

2014-08-16 DFW 2014-08-16 002

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Finally, an accessory no true gentleman cow can do without: a western-styled hat. Fashioned after the world-famous Stetson, this chapeau is bilaterally symmetrical, allowing it to be worn on either the right or the left horn with equal panache. One caveat, however: The wearer must take care to remove the hat before attempting to roll under a barbed wire fence, lest damage occur.

2014-08-16 DFW 2014-08-16 009

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It should also be noted that, although all the lady models are polled, the clothing displayed here can be worn by unpolled cows with no alteration whatsoever. Gentlemen cows, however, might have some difficulty wearing the hats without horns on which to hang them.

*****

The reviewer thanks Lone Star Attitude, DFW International Airport, for providing models and clothing, and for keeping her amused during a ninety-minute layover. In publishing this post, she intends no disrespect, but only admiration for those responsible for choosing to market their merchandise in such a delightful way.

2014-08-16 DFW 2014-08-16 010

Wremembering Wray

Kathy Waller:

I’m blogging at Writing Wranglers and Warriors today. Please click on the link and share the memories.

Originally posted on Writing Wranglers and Warriors:

0kathy-blog

Posted by Kathy Waller

On Friday evening family and friends gathered at a small country church outside Kansas City, Missouri, to celebrate the life of my cousin Wray Worden, who died last month at the age of seventy-six.

Wray

Wray

Wray, thirteen years older than I, and his two sisters served as my parents’ first children. They set a high standard I’ve never quite come up to.

During our last visit, two years ago, Wray talked about visiting with my family in small-town Texas. Afterward, I wrote a post about that conversation. I’ve since realized that many of my memories were really his.

So I’m repeating that post here, as my part in Wremembering Wray.

*****

January 24, 2012

wray-1I returned Sunday from four days in Higginsville, Missouri. I had accompanied my cousin Mary Veazey to see her brother, Wray, and his family. Wray has been in the hospital in Kansas…

View original 1,295 more words

I Kid You Not

On a quick trip to Missouri, staying in the boonies past the outskirts of Kansas City,

in a possibly no-star hotel, adequate except for its lack of

  1. elevator, and
  2. proximity to restaurants without golden arches.

Checked online under Dining.

First thing I saw was the ad at the top of the page: What’s the best cure for toe fungus?

Checked under Bars and Grills.
First establishment listed: Q & R Pest Control.

I kid you not.

Decided the golden arches would do.

English: The official logo.

English: The official logo. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

*****

Names have been changed or omitted for obvious reasons.