The Revenge of the Yoo

 Posted by M. K. Waller

After years as a modified Luddite, I’ve finally acquired a smart phone to replace my dumb one. David gave it to me. He bought it a couple of years ago and used it for a while, then decided it wasn’t worth the trouble.

I still carry my dumb phone. Before using the new one to make and receive calls, I’m learning to use the essential functions nobody knew were essential till phones got smart. So far, I’ve learned that people go around staring at the little screens all the time because they’re trying to figure out how to make them work.

The backstory is that I bought one of those bracelets–sort of a faux Fitbit; there was a discount, and it didn’t cost much to begin with–so I can see how many steps I take every day, how many calories I burn, how much deep…