Views on Bottoms

Under the heading of Kids Say the Darndest Things and Sometimes You Have to Tell People

My great-niece and her husband have a five-year-blonde son I’ll call John. They recently adopted a five-year-old son who is black. I’ll call him Bob. The boys are best buddies and call each other by name: “Brother.”

When other children told them they couldn’t be brothers because their skin is different, they displayed proof they’re siblings: their matching sneakers.

The Darndest Thing:

A couple of weeks ago, the family took a road trip. They were making the very long drive home when John announced from the back seat, “My butt hurts.”

Bob remarked, “My butt doesn’t hurt. That’s because black people have big, squishy butts and white people don’t.”

I told their mother that when Bob meets the rest of her family, at least some of us a couple of generations back, he’ll change his mind about white people’s butts.

***

I have permission to share this story. I changed the names so as not to embarrass the principals in case future girlfriends run across the post.

***

Not what we’re talking about, but in the vicinity, and I wanted a graphic

Millennials Killed the Fleek

Today’s Dictionary.com word

Fleeknice, smooth, sweet (2003); awesome, added in 2009;
used in 2014 by everybody but me .

Nobody says fleek now. Millennials killed it. Naughty millennials.

Seems it can be used to describe Kim Kardashian‘s butt. My take on Kim Kardashian’s butt: Years back, when she said she broke the Internet–well, if she did, it’s because she sat on it.

Kim Kardashian is licensed by Eva Rinaldi under CC BY-SA 2.0

While waiting for a radiation treatment, I read in a magazine that Kim is so self-conscious about her butt she backs out of a room so her husband won’t see it. That’s a lot of reversing. I’ll bet he knows about it anyway.

I believe this is the first time I’ve used butt in this blog, or much of anywhere else. I try to avoid the subject. If necessary, I say derriere. When I wanted children to sit on the floor in the library’s Story Square, I told them to sit on their bottoms. Teachers said that, so I followed suit.

Anyway, back to fleek. It was made up by a 16-year-old. She said it about her eyebrows on a video. The video went viral, and here we are, or there we were in 2014.

My take on fleek: It’s a spin-off of sleek. It might be a portmanteau word, a combination of fast and sleek, or fantastic and sleek. Some would say it’s a corruption of sleek, but I wouldn’t go that far. I might start saying it myself. Like if I ever have to describe my eyebrows or Kim Kardashian’s butt.

***

My apologies for any offense taken over my use of butt in this post. I was deprived of sleep for two consecutive nights and as a result amĀ  incapable of exhibiting good taste. In addition, I mean no disrespect to Kim Kardashian. I’m a little challenged in that area myself.