Learning to Write My Way: A Cautionary Tale

Excellent advice for anyone who wants to write a novel–from Noreen Cedeno at Ink-Stained Wretches

Ink-Stained Wretches

Don’t do what I did.

First, I learned how to write. Then, I learned how not to write. Then, I had to relearn how to write again.

woman-thinking writingWhen I first started writing, each story was a new adventure with new characters and settings. Stories ideas would come into my brain, marinate for a few days, and then I’d start working. I didn’t make a conscious plan to create stories in any particular genre. I wrote stories for me, telling the stories I wanted to tell as the ideas came to me. Having analyzed and written short stories during my education, the process came naturally to me. I simply sat down and began working, knowing the story needed a strong opening, rising action, a climax, and a dénouement.

As I grew more confident in my work and began submitting my short stories to magazines, I thought I’d figured out how to…

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Two Police Inspectors Sitting on a Willow Tree

The wide sweep of the river across the alluvial land was far from road or path and devoid of dwellings, so there were no passers-by to stop and stare, to pause for a little and then go on to spread the news.

They were in a world by themselves down there by the river. A timeless world, and comfortless.

Grant and Rodgers had exhausted professional post-mortems long ago, and had got no further. Now they were just two men alone in a meadow on a chilly spring day. They sat together on the stump of a fallen willow, Grant watching the slow sweep of the questing drag, Rodgers looking out across the wide flats of the valley floor.

‘This is all flooded in winter,’ he said. ‘Looks quite lovely, too, if you could forget the damage it’s doing.’

“‘Swift beauty come to pass
Has drowned the blades that strove”,’

Grant said.

‘What is that?’

‘What an army friend of mine wrote about floods.

“Where once did wake and move
The slight and ardent grass.
Swift beauty come to pass
Has drowned the blades that strove.'”

‘Nice,’ Rodgers said.

‘Sadly old-fashioned,’ Grant said. ‘It sounds like poetry. A fatal defect, I understand.’

‘Is it long?’

‘Just two verses and the moral.’

‘What is the moral?’

“‘O Final Beauty, found
In many a drownéd place,
We love not less thy face
For lesser beauties drowned.'”

Rodgers thought it over. ‘That’s good, that is,’ he said. ‘Your army friend knew what he was talking about. I was never one for reading poems in books–I mean collections, but magazines sometimes put verses in to fill up the space when a story doesn’t come to the bottom of the page. You know?’

‘I know.’

‘I read a lot of these, and every now and then one of them rings a bell. I remember one of them to this day. It wasn’t poetry properly speaking, I mean it didn’t rhyme, but it got me where I lived. It said:

“My lot is cast in inland places,
Far from sounding beach
And crying gull,
And I
Who knew the sea’s voice from my babyhood
Must listen to a river purling
Through green fields,
And small birds gossiping
Among the leaves.”

‘Now, you see, I was bred by the sea, over at Mere Harbour, and I’ve never quite got used to being away from it. You feel hedged in, suffocated. But I never found the words for it till I read that. I know exactly how that bloke felt. “Small birds gossiping!”‘

The scorn and exasperation in his voice amused Grant, but something amused him much more and he began to laugh.

‘What’s funny?’ Rodgers asked, a shade defensively.

‘I was just thinking how shocked the writers of slick detective stories would be if they could witness two police inspectors sitting on a willow tree swapping poems.’

~ Josephine Tey, To Love and Be Wise

***

A brief look at three of Josephine Tey’s other mysteries is found at Ink-Stained Wretches.

An essay about the [remarkable] Josephine Tey at “Josephine Tey – A Very Private Person.”

 

* A Project Gutenberg Canada Ebook *

Title: To Love and Be Wise 
Author: Josephine Tey [Elizabeth MacKintosh] (1896-1952)
Date of first publication: 1950
Place and date of edition used as base for this ebook: London: Peter Davies, February, 1953
Date first posted: 18 May 2008
Date last updated: 18 May 2008
Project Gutenberg Canada ebook #120

This ebook was produced by: David T. Jones, Donald Perry, Mark Akrigg & the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdpcanada.net

***

Cover of To Love and Be Wise from amazon.com.

Comicpalooza Day 2: Moppets & More

Official business completed, we spent several hours wandering through the Comicpalooza exhibit hall.

Passing by a panel in discussion mode, I heard a young woman say that when she first became involved in cosplay,  she was shocked that strangers came up and touched her. She wasn’t prepared for that. I wasn’t prepared to hear they touched her. Ick.

Nearby a poster read in part, “Cosplay is not consent.” If you want to touch a costume or pose with the player for a picture, ask first.

That cleared up something for me: You don’t have to ask to take a picture; you have to ask to pose with them for a picture. It’s smart to ask before taking any picture, because if you do, the subject will stop and strike a pose and smile, or, in the case of the mean, scary ones, snarl. But for just taking pictures of costumes in the crowd, no.

Concerning the use of photos of Comicpalooza attendees, the program states that attendees acknowledge and consent to being photographed, filmed, recorded, etc., and relinquish any reasonable expectation of privacy, and grant to Comicpalooza LLC an “irrevocable, royalty and attribution-free right to use, publish and otherwise exploit (and allow others to use and otherwise exploit) any photograph, motion picture, image, recording, or any other record of attendance during Comicpalooza, in whole or in part, in perpetuity throughout the universe, in all media and means, now known or hereafter developed or discovered, for any promotional or other commercial purpose.”

I’d say that covers about everything. An Oxford comma is absent, however, so the meaning might not be as clear as one would think.

We saw many glamorous characters in many glamorous costumes. But the stars were the little people. I wish I’d gotten more shots of them.

The Houston Public Library bookmobile was excellent.

The big people, beasts, and thingies weren’t bad either. The Siberian husky was exquisite.

***

The spell check button is still missing from the WordPress toolbar. I’m beginning to think it was a figment of my imagination. I hope it comes back.

 

Comicpalooza Day 1: Men’s Rooms, Thor, & Lumbar Support

We’re in Houston for the screening of David’s short-short animated video, “Blood Bank.”

Before most trips, I stay up half the night doing laundry, but last night I stayed up cooking pot roast. The fixings had been around for several days–I’d told David to buy them and I would cook, but then life got in the way, some of it legitimate, like not having enough cooking oil–and the roast was almost to the cook-it-or-freeze-it point. I would have frozen it but the carrots, potatoes, and onion wouldn’t have frozen well, so I cooked and froze the result.

On the positive side, that roast was absolutely delicious. I know because I tried it before going to bed. A darned good roast. Even if I did forget to put in the potatoes until late and had to let it cook for an extra hour. Or more.

On the negative side, I am absolutely wiped out. I thought I was doing pretty well on the drive over until we stopped for gasoline and trail mix and I followed David into the men’s room. And couldn’t figure out why he was waving at me so vigorously. Sort of flailing like a windmill.

I used a men’s room in Paris with David as lookout–the other ladies’ restroom at the Musee D’Orsay was closed, and I got tired of standing in a line that stretched down the hallway–and nobody said boo. But Americans are more sensitive about those things than are the French.

Anyway, we got to the hotel around noon and had lunch and then I crashed. Then we had dinner and went to the screening. Then we went back to the restaurant because I wanted glass of wine.

I don’t drink–at least, that’s what my doctor said when I told him how much alcohol I imbibe per year–but I am so tired that I was afraid I wouldn’t sleep. I thought a medicinal glass of wine might knock me out.

So David ordered a Stella Artois for himself and ordered me a glass-and-a-half of Fleur de Mer. That’s nine ounces as opposed to a glass, which is six. I don’t like most wine, but rosé isn’t bad. A dessert wine I had at a Greek restaurant years ago was excellent, but I’ve forgotten what it was, so I’m stuck with rosé.

I would have had Dom Perignon if it hadn’t been $350 a bottle. I’ve been trying to remember if I’d ever been in a restaurant that had Dom Perignon on the menu. A restaurant we went to for Valentine’s Day a couple of years ago was serving some kind of steak for $150. I guess that’s the closest I’ve to Dom Perignon that I’ve come. David said it was a joke and no one would order steak for that price, but I pointed out you never know what some men will do to impress a girl they aren’t married to.

The glasses our beverages came in were just this side of mammoth. David took pictures. It was rather gauche of us to notice the glassware, but that’s just the kind of people we are. Furthermore, I’m from the country.

I’d been gauche once earlier in the evening: I asked (had David ask) for catsup. Fried catfish was on the buffet, but there were no condiments, and I’m sorry, but I grew up eating fried catfish on my grandfather’s front porch, and I know that with catfish, catsup is a necessity, even if Conrad Hilton doesn’t.

I used to think that staying at a Hilton meant I had to arrive looking like I’d made an effort, and I guess back in the ’50s that was true, but judging from the other guests wandering in from the parking garage, it ain’t true any more. So I’ve given up trying.

No, that’s not true. I do try. It’s just that nobody can tell it.

Anyway, we sat in the restaurant, and David drank his beer, and I drank my wine, and then I got into the wheelchair and David wheeled me to our room. I can walk just fine, except when I haven’t had enough food or enough sleep, or when someone is watching, and then I stagger, and I don’t go too far too fast under any circumstances, so on our film weekends, I get wheeled a lot.

My fault. I was forced to be sedentary for a while and liked it so much I just kept a-goin’. I’ve been walking more lately, though, and am doing quite well. If no one is looking. I’ve also registered at a gym.

Sad to say, however, I’ve come to enjoy being wheeled around. It was embarrassing at first, but I’ve gotten over that. Why walk when you can ride? Only at huge film festivals, though. Comicpalooza is huge.

Tomorrow we’ll wheel around the George R. Brown Convention Center, looking at people dressed like their favorite comic book characters. I think some will dress however they please. They’re all entertaining.  If I had my old Davy Crockett outfit, I would wear it, if it weren’t too small. I got it for my birthday a million years ago. The coonskin cap was especially nice. Somewhere there’s a snapshot of me wearing the outfit and holding my pet hen, Dickie.

There will be signs saying to ask permission before taking pictures of people in costume. I cannot for the life of me figure that one out. When anyone over the age of eighteen walks around in public around dressed up like Buzz Lightyear, he shouldn’t be surprised to see flashbulbs going off. Although I’m not sure we have flashbulbs any more.

Last year at lunch, we sat very near Thor. He told the man he was with that he needed lumbar support. I didn’t take his picture because I knew just how he felt. But the experience dampened the thrill of being only yards away from a Germanic god. Too much wielding of that hammer, I suppose.

But when I want a photo, I do ask. Rather, David asks. I’m shy. I wait till they walk away and and then take pictures of  their backs. I got one tonight. “Cat Lady Squad.”

Well. That’s my day. Thank you for asking.

***

The last time I posted, WordPress had a spell/word check on the toolbar. Tonight it seems to have disappeared. So if this post is riddled with errors, talk to WP about it. I proofed and proofed but that glass of wine is beginning to kick in and standard usage is falling by the wayside.

***

“Tor’s Fight With the Giants” by Marten Eskil Winge, public domain, via Wikipedia

Author, Author: Josephine Tey–Occupying the Hinterland

About the inimitable mystery writer Josephine Tey

Ink-Stained Wretches

by M. K. Waller

On his twenty-first birthday, Simon Ashby will become a rich man. He’ll inherit both his mother’s fortune and Latchetts, the estate left by his parents on their accidental death eight years ago. In the interim, his aunt Bee has, by skillful management, built Latchetts into a profitable farm and riding stable.

The other Ashby children—Simon’s sisters, nineteen-year-old Eleanor and nine-year-old twins Jane and Ruth—look forward to his  becoming master of Latchetts. Bee’s pleasure is marred only by the memory of Patrick, Simon’s twin, who shortly after their parents’ death disappeared, a presumed suicide.

Six weeks before Simon’s birthday, however, a stranger calling himself Brat Farrar appears and claims to be the long-lost Patrick. He looks like Simon, remembers everything Patrick should, has a reasonable explanation for his long absence, and—a striking distinction—knows and loves horses. Initially skeptical, Bee is yet open to the possibility of Brat’s…

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Weird Again in Houston

 

The Davises are off to Houston next weekend for Comicpalooza and the screening of David’s short-short animated video, “Blood Bank.”

Whatever you’re thinking “Blood Bank” is about, it’s probably not. David’s films are weird. That’s guaranteed. Otherwise, they’re unpredictable. Totally.

According to publicity, Animation Shorts comprises “Short film finalists in the Comicpalooza Film Festival that feature the best in animation.” “Blood Bank” is one of only three to be screened. It’s also his first attempt at animation.

Comicpalooza, “the largest annual, multi-genre, comic book, science fiction, anime, gaming, and pop-culture convention in the Southern United States,” has its unpredictable side, too. You never know whom or what you’ll see.

Here’s a sample of what we saw last year.

 

I can predict this year we’ll see Austinite Manning Wolfe, author of the Texas Lady Lawyer mystery series. She’ll be among the celebrities and guests appearing over the weekend.

Watch for more on Comicpalooza and “Blood Bank” next week–same time, same station, if you’re old enough to know what that means.

***

“Blood Bank” will run in Animation Shorts, Friday, May 10, at 8:00 p.m.

See David Davis’ print cartoons at Alien Resort. His film “Invisible Men Invade Earth” appears on Youtube.